A feast gone bad

The pup Brogan had his Thanksgiving feast a little early this year.

Yesterday, while walking back from the pet store where I bought his holiday meal, canned Turducken (whole human-quality food that includes peas, carrots and potatoes), he yanked on the leash a bit hard and the can flew out of my hand. The top split open on the sidewalk.

I realized I would have to feed it to him prior to Thanksgiving. And perhaps, because the spoiled little guy warrants a treat, I was going to go back and get another so he could have his feast the same day I have mine.

Well, forget *that* idea.

He enjoyed his can of Turducken last night like it was the Rapture. But today? Today was Amageddon.

Turns out the food was a bit too rich for the pup's otherwise very tidy diet of high-quality kibble and the occasional scrap of nastiness he snarfs up off the pavement when we're taking a walk. His little bod is on a 24-hour cycle, and 24 hours after enjoying his meal, he was decidedly *not* enjoying its departure.

I've never heard a dog scream while trying to poop. Not until tonight, anyway.

And I learned, several hours after the fact, that the pup actually was unable to hold it until his walk time rolled around. He actually relieved himself in my bathtub. Which I discovered at about 12:30 tonight.

Nothing quite like cleaning up a really stinky, nasty, unformed bit of dog mess from the tub at 1 a.m. Took me back to some of my less coordinated moments in high school, when I was still learning how to hold my liquor (and not passing the exams).

But while it's rarely a smart human move to expel bodily fluids of any sort in the bathtub, it's actually pretty darn cunning for a dog who knows he's not supposed to go on the floor or on the furniture.

Also, I've learned, the bathtub is where the pup hides when he's *really* scared of something. And as far as I can tell, his own gastrointestinal distress was frightening him. Poor little guy.

So, no, I will not be overwhelming the pup on Thanksgiving with another feast. In fact, I think I'll let that be a lesson to me: Just say no to too much rich food.

But I will say yes to my fair share (and then some) of wine, however. Because that stuff, I've learned how to handle. It's the creamy something-or-other and the pumpkin pie that really gets me.

Well, on the upside, my tub is ridiculously clean now. I think I might have polluted the entire ecosystem and given myself chemical burns from using too much Comet, but ... eeeww ... no choice. No choice at all.