Discursive is as discursive does

Man, am I tired.

I haven't been managing more than six hours of sleep a night for a couple of weeks now. Part of the problem is that I've worked several shifts that start in the morning, and I rarely manage to get myself to sleep before 1 a.m. But even on the days I could sleep in, like today, I don't manage to stay asleep unless I put on an eye mask to deal with the early sunlight.

This is nothing new. I've had to wear a mask to deal with the early morning sunlight for several years now. The mask works like a charm, but it also puts me into a deeper sleep from which it becomes more difficult to awaken. My circadian rhythms get all screwed up.

And so on days like today, where I had something I wanted to do in the morning, I resist putting on the mask, and then can't stay asleep. So now I'm trashed.

In the end, though, it was a good day. Got my place tidied up, something I planned to do yesterday but didn't when I got sidetracked by a social visit. Worked on a new art project -- starting what looks like it will be a very dark piece. Read a little bit of philosophy (Foucault's second volume of "The History of Sexuality"). And a couple friends popped at different times of the day while they were checking out an arts fair here on my street.

King Rex came by around 4, and we spent a couple hours wandering between four or five stages set up several blocks apart and listening to music acts. My favorite was a band that mixed reggae and ska. Lots of people dancing. Lots of kids running around in the grass. Hippies. Dreadlocks. Circus acts. And far too many butt cracks showing thanks to the popularity of those low-rise jeans. (Time for that trend to end!)

Ended the evening watching the final episode of the first season of "Battlestar Galatica," which I've been watching on DVD. I'm enjoying that series, but I'm happy to be done with this particular DVD because the next video in my Netflix queue is ... "The L Word."

As regular readers might recall, I was recently asked by someone if I watched "The L Word." Bubba tells me that this question was "obviously" a sign that the woman who asked me is queer, as I had been wondering if she is. I don't know that I agree with Bubba that such a question necessarily means the asker is a lesbian, but ... I like to dream. It is my delirious hope that the woman in question *is* queer *and* single.

Or maybe I never told you all that. I'm too lazy to check my own blog and find out.

In any case, the pertinent part of this story is that I had to reply to the woman: No, I've never seen it. It was after I uttered these words that I began to consider the possibility my License to be Lesbian could be revoked. I clearly have not been keeping up on my continuing education requirements, and "The L Word" is apparently worth some serious CEUs.

As it is, I believe the last lesbian CEUs I earned may have been from watching "Tipping the Velvet" back in February of 2006. Can it really have been that long ago? Surely I must have seen or done *something* gay since then....

Oh wait. I recall taking a DVD of some little British film -- "Imagine Me & You" -- to work with me on one of those night shifts I worked back in February or March. It was about a woman who, on her wedding day, falls in love with the lesbian florist who did the wedding flower arrangements. Seems like one of the actresses may have looked like Kate Winslet.

And well... even if neither of them looked like Kate Winslet, there must have been something with Kate Winslet in it that I've seen recently. Even if it's not queer, *any* activity that includes Kate Winslet should qualify for Lesbian CEUs. She rates a recurring role in all my best fantasies, so every time I see her in something, her hot hot hotness is reaffirmed in a very lesbian sort of way.

Now I remember... I saw her in a movie at the theater. It was called "The Little Children" or something like that. She plays a married woman who, in one steamy scene, gets fucked on top of the washing machine by the guy with whom she's having an affair. Then, in another scene, she tells the women in her reading group that Emma Bovary had a good thing going on with the affair she was having. I was reminded of that second scene by that video a classmate of mine made for Couples Therapy. She mentioned something about Madame Bovary having the right idea about how to make the best of a suck-ass marriage.

As soon as I heard that comment by my classmate, I thought of Kate Winslet. Thus, by some weird extension of this nonsensical train of thought, I think I could technically apply for Lesbian CEUs based on my classmate's video, even though it has nothing at all to do with queerity.

I'm pretty sure I just made up that word: "Queerity." ... Hmm, I rather like it.

So this officially is evidence of how tired I am. I'm rambling. I'm drawing connections between things that are not connected at all. I've convinced myself that there are, in fact, CEU requirements and licenses for lesbians. And I'm making up words.

I should hang up now.

But before I go, I'll add this: The ancient Greeks would not have liked me. The would have considered me incontinent (which is not what it sounds like).

And you know what? I'm fine with that. I really am.

I think I'll wear my mask in the morning. Sleep in for a while.