Move over, Caprial...

OK, so Alice Waters I ain't. (Not yet, anyway.)

But check this shit out: Your intrepid cook-o-phobic took some inspiration from that poached salmon and from that wild and whacky first-time-ever experience of buying a hairbrush, and decided to go for something altogether new and foodie.

I made my own soup from scratch.

Now, I know soup is the most basic of human culinary achievements. People have made soup out of leather and twigs and spoiled meat since they figured out how to boil water. It's hardly an accomplishment for a fancy chef, so Caprial will probably bust my chops for telling her to scoot on over and make some room at the stove, honey.

But given that I've taken no shame in reporting my *multitudes* of culinary failures over the years -- and actually reached a point in my life where I hired a woman to cook for me and then for six years lived with XGF, who was trained to be a professional chef but lavished those talents on our home and nowhere else -- I figure it's only right to give myself a bit phat public pat on the back here.

I made a pea, spinach & leek soup with coconut milk and curry, a recipe that actually required me to puree the stuff in a blender. (Why the blender "explodes" is beyond me -- it made a mess of the kitchen -- but I think it was worth it.)

It was nice and satisfyingly creamy, even though the only fat is a tablespoon of butter and a can of coconut milk (it was supposed to be a half can, but I love coconut, so I *improvised* and the shit actually worked out, even if it is a bit more fatty). But considering my dairy allergy, I'm thinking that coconut milk beats half-n-half hands down on the creamy factor. And ... mmm... do I ever love coconut. Give me anything coconut, and I will sit like a happy buddha with it.

So I chopped all these veggies. I sizzled things. I simmered things. I boiled things. And then I pureed the stuff. Then, I salted and peppered it to taste. My only "shortcoming" was that I didn't shuck fresh peas and I snuck in the frozen ones when no one was looking. (That there was no one else here to see it did not stop me from *sneaking* those frozen peas in anyway. Picture that nonsense, if you will.)

But the fact of there being no one here to have witnessed this soup creation of mine -- thus, no one to consume it but me -- does pose a little problem. After I started the recipe, I noticed it serves six. Ooops. Either I'm going to be eating this soup until the cows come home (which they do *not* do in this part of town, I've noticed), or I'm gonna have to find someone to share it with.

As I was finishing this delightful dish and seasoning it to taste, I was thinking of Lilly Tomlin's old "Search for Intelligent Life" routine: " 'Is it art yet?' 'No, it's still soup.' " Soon enough, my friends, it *will* be art.