"Kelly can be a guy's name, too"

I loved the first "Clerks." And, even though a sequel to that brilliant bit of cinema will never measure up to the first, the second provided enough laugh-out-loud moments to be worth the price of admission. (Helpful, too, that the a/c was on full blast.)

Not to be missed are some very funny scenes surrounding an episode of "interspecies erotica" and a debate over the meaning of the term "porch monkey." As well as a perfect and highly warranted attack on the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy.

It made me long for the days when I had an aimless job and my life was utterly directionless. In other words, it made me miss being a lifeguard.

Of course, there were a lot more hot and scantily clad women in my gig as a lifeguard than ever appeared in either version of "Clerks." So one could argue that my situation was infiintely better and, thus, I technically cannot relate.

But whatever.

I've never seen interspecies erotica in person, either. But I still found that shit VERY funny.

As an aside, I will say, however that there is a very captivating sculpture, rescued from the pumice at Pompeii and now on display at the Archeological Museum of Naples, that depicts Pan fucking a goat. I found it very difficult to stop looking at it, even with a (male, Italian) museum docent hovering nearby, licking his chops while I regarded this lurid bit of artwork.

Really, of all the art I've seen in this fair world, including a massive display of pre-Columbian erotic art at the Museo Larco in Lima, *nothing* has stuck in my head quite like that sculpture of Pan. You can only see it by requesting a tour of the museum's "Secret Room," which houses a lot of erotic art from the Roman Empire. As you can imagine, erotic art from the Roman Empire can be quite decadent. Penis windchimes, anyone? But that sculpture of Pan and the goat ... whoa.

Of course, that's *not* what's going on in "Clerks II."

But, in either case, you've got to see it for yourself to get it.