An "explanation" from Mr. Clean

Alright. Back on March 8, I recounted the story of how Mr. Clean believes XGF will someday date men -- and how XGF herself said she was considering it. If you recall, Mr. Clean had also said that he never expects *me* to bat from the other side of the plate, and I wanted to know why. I suggested his opinions must be based on some stereotype, that perhaps my hair was too short or my manner of speaking too direct.

This morning, I got my answer. And all I can say, really, is Dude! And I mean that in the way I'm told some East Coasters interpret "dude," as in what a donkey dick! Or something like that anyway.

So XGF related the following:

On Thursday or Friday of this week, XGF and Mr. Clean had lunch together. At some point, the conversation turns to this topic. XGF asks him why he thinks she's heading toward men but I'm not, and Mr. Clean says something like this:

"I've always found you to be more curious and open about Christianity, and I think you'll become a Christian someday. When you do, I think you'll turn toward men. But UCM? She's never going to be a Christian, so she'll stay gay. She won't change, which is a pity."

XGF says she replied: "I might become bisexual, Mr. Clean, but I am *never* going to become a Christian."

To me, she said, "I was *so* offended by that." But she didn't tell him as much. "I figure," she told me, "that he's always been nice to us and he just takes his religion seriously. But still, I was offended."

Me? We've been friends with this guy for years, eaten at his home many times and he's helped us out around the house with "Man Services," such as rototilling our beds. So it's fairly appalling to me to think he's been sitting around for all this time, doing all those favors with that kind of judgment about us going on in his head. But it also explains why he's shown so little concern over our breakup. Clearly, he thinks it's a good thing because maybe -- just maybe! -- XGF will "straighten out." Even though your's truly is hopeless. And, as I understand things from Mr. Clean's perspective, I'm on the fast track to hell, I am. But I'll have good company there. Very good company.

This morning, when telling SGF about yet another rental we need to look at -- in this, the *slowest breakup ever* -- I told her the Mr. Clean story. SGF summed it up so much more nicely than my Dude! business: "I wish prejudice was just out in the open -- just totally out there," she said. "That way, we'd know where we stand, and there wouldn't be all this behind-closed-doors thinking going on. It would just be obvious."

No shit.

At least now I know. But I really wish it had just been some stupid stereotype.